Wednesday in the Second Week of Lent

One man was there who had been ill for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had been there a long time, he said to him, “Do you want to be made well?” (John 5:5-6)

On the face of it, this seems like an absurd question from Jesus -- "Do you want to be made well?" Of course he does! He's been ill for 38 years, and he is sitting at the edge of a pool in the streets of Jerusalem that has a reputation for curative powers in its water. Why else would he be there, than wanting to be made well? Why would Jesus even ask the question?

Because what we think we want what we say we want and what we really want aren't always the same thing. There is a silly scene in Monty Python's Life of Brian which, for all its silliness, makes a point: a man who has been ill and has been a beggar for years is healed; but once he's not ill anymore, neither can he beg anymore; and in the aftermath he resents his healing because now he's going to have to work. Somewhat more seriously, there is that famous (or infamous) prayer of St Augustine in his youth: "Lord, make me chaste -- but not yet." Both reveal a gap between the wellness and healing and integrity they say they want, and the less healthful, less salutory and salvific, aspects of what they really want.

Do we want to be made well? Wholeness and integrity and commitment to mutual well-being don't just happen. Inspired by God, assisted by God's grace, these are things we must yet work out in our own selves -- and the work can get hard. It can be so easy to let our weaknesses, our failures, our shortcomings become excuses for not working for wholeness and integrity and unity of intention and action in our lives, so that we find it more attractive to stay ill than to be made well. But Jesus continues to ask "Do you want to be made well?", and he continues to offer the healing grace that opens us up to a process of growing more whole, more actualized, more loving.

Lent is a good time to ask yourself "Do I want to be made well?", and to be honest about the answer.